My first big blow...

Well...

I tried listening, I tried admitting fault, I went by the store, I called. In the end, I was limited to email. My biggest wholesale order ever asked for a refund after the money had already been spent on manufacturing. I will have to get a loan from my dad to pay her.

You know... I knew it too, I could almost feel that it wouldn't work. She spent so much time talking about shoplifters and how her store was full of security and no one was going to rip her off, etc. She is a middle aged dinosaur who thinks the internet is magic run by evil men in the background pulling levers, she hit the button twice and got charged twice.

I don't know if she thought I was trying to steal from her, if she thinks my systems are just faulty, or if she really just changed her mind about the purchase. This one was a loss. It was my first big loss.

I am 26 years old, petite blonde girl. I come in polished and promising answering questions and talking smart - making it sound like I am the captain of a great jewelry empire, when in reality I cart around all my jewelry in my truck and sometimes sleep in my truck to save money when doing promotional shows. I wonder sometimes, if they knew how much their business means to me - that I either have a place in the world or I'm still searching all over from scratch - would they want to buy it more? Do businesses feel good about supporting young artists? Or do they want that perfect facade in order to feel smart in their choice?

Or is it that it was so hard for them to get their start that they want to make it hard for me and everyone else - that generational retribution which we humans so naturally seek.

I do have one golden tidbit: those competitors of hers she wanted to make sure I wouldn't sell to who always secret shop her store and "steal all her ideas and copy everything she does" might just get a visit...